Posts

Showing posts from 2012

The Muslim Guide to Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse

Image
One of the handful of shows that I have fallen in love with recently is The Walking Dead on AMC. I'm sure some of you have already heard of the hit show--which is based off of a popular comic book with the same name--but for those who haven't it's a pretty basic premise cut from the same cloth of those countless George A. Romero "Land of The Dead"  films in the zombie horror movie sub-genre. It's been done to death, but that hasn't stopped people from eating it up (no pun intended). Basically a man wakes up from a coma to find that the world has been overrun with flesh-eating walkers or zombies. (sidenote: It's funny how the show NEVER says zombies but instead coins new terms like "biters", "walkers", "geeks" as if the word doesn't exist in the English lexicon) The series follows the path of the man and other survivors as they try to adjust to the reality of being in a zombie apocalypse. For those who don't re

Give Me All Your Downtime...

Image
Whenever I'm not updating PhilAsify 101 when I should be, there are several factors which are usually the culprit. Sometimes it's the whirlwind of life and all its unexpected surprises which take me away from blogging/writing, but for the most part it could be something as menial and time-consuming (and FUN) as video games. I used to be a huge video gamer. Then I had a period where I rarely ever played video games, but that was mainly because I didn't have the cash to plop down 300 bucks for the latest console. Once I was able to, I found myself immersed in countless unproductive hours and late nights mashing buttons. There's even been times where I'd be so lost in the beautiful crisp graphics and vivid colors of the "Uncharted" series that I didn't realize that my back went stiff from hours of sitting on a workout ball staring up at my big screen. Getting to bed that night really sucked.

[VIDEO] Worst Prayers Ever in Cinema and Television shows Epic Botches of the Salat.

Image
I got a good kick out of this video above so I thought you guys would too. It's from comedic Muslim video blogger, Hamzah Moin, best known as the Maniac Muslim . I actually had a discussion a while back with my wife over some of the worst inaccurate depictions of Islam and the salat in Hollywood or independent films.   You'd think that when the production crew is planning this movie out, they'd at least hire a Muslim to play the part, or to an even lesser extent, get a Muslim to serve as a consultant to preserve authenticity when it comes to Islamic rituals and practices like they would with a film protrayal of any other culture. But no, let's caricature it up!  My message to the Maniac Muslim though, I'd say that the absolutely worst prayer ever depicted in modern cinema would have to be the one performed in the movie Sabah: A Love Story. To anyone who has read my blog, "The Good The Bad and The Ugly of Muslim Themed Movies"   you would be more

It's the Holiday Season and I'm Muslim! Oh, great...

Image
So if you couldn't already tell from the soundtracks blaring on the PA system of all the restaurants and stores you walk into, I'm here to tell you, it's the holiday season!  The season to be jolly, to be exact, and jam to nonsensical Christmas tunes. And for many, 'tis the season to light a match to the last 6 months of your income.

Back From Blog Hiatus

Image
Surprise, surprise PhilAsify Fans (which I'm sure at this point probably only consists of 3 people, including my wife--on second thought, my wife doesn't regularly read my stuff, so howdy you two!) I'm back with a blog update. I just want to cut to the chase and apologize for the blog drought I put you guys through. It's was unannounced and unexpected and that's because I hadn't planned to have gone this long without updating. The lack of PhilAsify greatness stemmed from a combination of lazy spell that I go through on occasion which superkicked any semblance of productivity and consistency I had with my writing. Luckily, an article I stumbled upon brought me back to reality and brought to attention a lot of the flaws in my repertoire. The article,  15 Excuses Writers Make (That aren't fooling Anyone) , pretty much busted me out directly, pinpointed all the lamebrain excuses I use as a crutch when I go through an unproductive writing slump. It op

Speak Good or Keep Silent

Image
Just had to share this unreleased single by Abdul-Malik Ahmad from Native Deen (it's not finalized but was posted for Native Deen fans to give feedback) that I've been jamming repeatedly since I stumbled upon it a week or so ago. It's hot! Abdul-Malik hits hard with his lyrics with this great reminder to all, Muslims or not, to watch your mouth and not backbite people.

Obama Re-Elected, Same As It Ever Was

Image
The Election 2012 bombardment is thankfully over and Barack Hussein Obama retains the title of President of the United States. No thanks to me, anyway. Yeah, that's right, I didn't vote. Not because I didn't want to (eh...maybe) but mainly because of a technicality where my precinct I had to vote at was way too far for me to reach and would've been a hassle getting off work and heading over there. I wasn't as enthused about this election as I was in 2008 when I first voted. For one, I don't think there will be any monumental change. There unfortunately was just a lot of apathy involved because politics is basically making a bunch of promises to the people and then failing to live up to them. Plus, there's the conundrum of trying to please everyone which in the end just pisses a lot of people off. Yup, the presidency is not an easy job by any means. I know I wouldn't have the stomach to do it. However, Obama seems to be handling it better th

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of Muslim-themed Movies

Image
Whether it's through reading, listening or watching a movie, I think it's safe to say that everyone loves a good  story. There's nothing like diving in head-first into the world of a good book, or being captivated by the rush of emotions a movie brings. That's because stories are a reflection of life. An interesting analogy which summed it up perfectly was: "stories are like human currency". You learn about peoples cultures, beliefs, and values through stories. You are introduced to new ideas and are able to relate to situations and look back on personal experiences through a good story. Even as a Muslim, a good story is what inspires, strengthens your faith and engages your mind, be it from the Qur'an or the Hadith. As a lover of storytelling with a degree in creative writing, I spend a good chunk of my free time looking for movies that tell a good story. One of my favorite filmmakers Spike Lee spoke about the intention behind his movies, “ I'm j

Whacked Out News: NY Cab Driver Returns $21K Left Behind by Passenger

Image
Who says "Whacked Out News" always has to be something negative? (NEWSER)  – Taxi driver Mohammad Asadujjaman says he was just following his mother's advice to always be honest when he went out of his way to find a passenger who left a handbag containing $21,000 in the back seat of his cab. The Bangladesh-born med student ended up making two 50-mile trips to Long Island to reunite his passenger, an Italian grandmother, with her cash, passport, and jewelery, the Guardian  reports.  "They were so, so, so happy," the 28-year-old cabbie said of his passenger and her family, whose vacation would have been ruined without his honesty. Asadujjaman says he was never tempted to keep the cash, and declined to accept a reward from the family, saying that he couldn't take it because he is a devout Muslim. "I'm needy but I'm not greedy," he said. "It's better to be honest." Very admirable gesture from the brother given the circumsta

Fajr, the Lazy Killer

Image
I truly respect successful writers, no matter what form. Be it a novel, a textbook, poetry, a Hollywood screenplay or blogging; the ones who are on the grind and churning out writing pieces on the regular deserve all the props you can throw at them. I can only dream of possessing even a small fraction of their productivity. What's their secret to success? Well, I know that . They wake up early and write in the solitude of the early morn while the rest of the world is still catching their Z's. Now naturally, this shouldn't be a problem for me. As a Muslim, it's essentially a must to be early risers because we have to pray the first obligatory prayer of the day, Fajr, right at the break of dawn. Of course for many Muslims, even devout ones, this can be easier said than done. I'm sure a ton of Muslims don't wake up for Fajr and ignore the Adhan (call to prayer) clock and fade back into La-La land (guilty). Then we have another segment who do get up, pray the Fa

Spittin' The Truth: Rapper Hopsin Blasts Society in "Ill Mind of Hopsin 5"

Image
Ever since my Islamic enlightenment a couple of years back, I've cut mainstream music out completely. I don't know what's "poppin' on the streets" and couldn't tell you one song looping on the Top 40 Hit Stations other than "Call Me Maybe" and that's only because today's media has allowed this song to be absolutely unavoidable. The only other times I'm exposed to hip hop and pop music is at the gym, playing video games or at certain restaurants and gatherings. Whenever I do willingly lend my ear to some tunes, it's very selectively. Hip Hop is dead for the most part. Gone are the days of a true narrative to a song which enlightens the masses on the often harsh realities of the world we live in. However, there are a handful of artists who still use the genre of hip hop for what it was meant for, preaching the truth and opening minds.

6 Creepy "Muslim" Men All Women should Avoid

Image
Come little children, gather round the campfire. It's horror story time. Have you heard this scary tale? American girl meets exotic Muslim boy. Sparks fly. Love is in the air. Muslim boy proposes marriage. American girl excitedly agrees. BUT American girl needs to convert first. Huh? We didn't talk about religion at all before? Doesn't matter. Say some Arabic words ( shahadah ) and throw this thing on your head ( hijab)  and you're good. Now the story can take a variety of horrifying  interesting turns...

Is Losing Your Job a Death Sentence?

Image
Just this past week, news broke of a man in Minneapolis, Minnesota walking into a Sign store and shooting and killing four people including the owner of the store. Who was he? A disgruntled former employer who was fired not too long before he decided to start bustin' caps. After drawing a swarm of police and SWAT teams to the scene of the crime to confront him, the man turned the gun on himself, dying before the police could apprehend him. The sad thing is, stuff like this is happening way too often. Ex-employers fired for one reason or another vowing revenge on the boss who handed them the pink slip, students grabbing guns and blasting away professors who gave them a failing grade. Patience and preseverence are a thing of the past. Accountability is now an ancient concept. Blame the economy and the curriculum all you want but in the end it's all on your own head.

"Be Afraid...Be Very Afraid": A Horror Movie about Jinn?

Image
"You ain't never had a friend like me!" Uh...no. Like many movie-goers, I love a good horror flick. Unfortunately in Hollywood, a halfway decent one is few and far between. Some border on goofy campy horror (The Leprachaun series, Nightmare on Elm Street ,  Cabin in the Woods ) while others rely heavily on special effects and an unneccessarily copious amount of gore ( 28 Days Later , Hostel ) and label that as horror. Some start out promising but then are dragged out into convuluted, contrived pieces of trash (The SAW Series, Paranormal Activity .) A good Horror movie ideally is supposed to take the viewer out of the comfort of watching as a third party and pull you inside the film into the same helpless situation of the hero. It's supposed to make you feel vulnerable and uncomfortable without the need for cheap gags like the overuse of blood or a quick swishing camera cut. Horror movies, even if the premise or elements involved are fictional, should at least

YOLO? No Bro!

Image
I Dare Ya! Don't you love popular sayings? I'm particularly fond of expressions like "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder", "Laughter is the best medicine", "A Picture is worth a thousand words" and who could forget this one: powered by Splicd.com However, one that is gaining a lot of traction is the expression ,"You only live once" (aka. "YOLO" to the youngsters). YOLO has taken pop culture by storm ever since the phrase was coined in a song by rapper/singer Drake. Now it's all over people's Facebook pages, on people's T-Shirts, flooding up the Twitterfeeds (#YOLO) and is regurgitating out from the mouths of the simple-minded masses.

Dang it Feels Good To Be A Muslim

Image
A movie that has fast become one of my all-time favorites after the catching it on Netflix is  Office Space. I had always heard good things about the movie and how it had become a cult classic but for years since it's release in 1999, I slept on it. Boy was I missing out on some hilarity! An outstanding element from this hysterical comedy is it's soundtrack, which uncharacteristic of conventional comedy movies, features an abundance of gangsta rap music. Office Space pulls it off brilliantly. The awesome thing is the use of hardcore rap songs actually enhances the comedy. One notable scene is the main character goofing around the office and doing whatever he dang well pleased to the tune of, "Damn, it Feels Good To Be A Gangsta." 

My Block: Documentary "The West" Gives People a Gritty Dose of Life in Southwest Houston

Image
Happy Friday readers. In my recent efforts to enrich myself and broaden my knowledge, I made a promise to myself to watch at least 1 documentary a week on any particular subject. This past week I stumbled upon one which hits really close to home and that's because the documentary was about and filmed in the area of Houston I called home from middle school all the way through college: Alief, Texas (aka SWAT; South West Alief Texas). 

Birthday Reflections

Image
Yesterday was not only the memorial of the 9/11 tragedy which took place 11 years ago but it was my birthday. I turned the big 2-5. While reaching the quarter century mark in life may be seen as a grand milestone for some, I beg to differ.  Sure you get birthday shout-outs from friends, acquaintances, co-workers and well-wishers--and while the kind words are much appreciated-- honestly, what's there to celebrate? You're one year closer to dying, congratulations!  It's just another day if you ask me. Now back when I was younger, totally different story. In my childhood years, I thought of my birthday as my own personal christmas and would go into crying fits when all I receive is home-cooked biryani from my mom. In retrospect, I should've appreciated and been grateful for my mother's loving gesture of cooking my favorite Pakistani dish. Instead, I slammed doors, and repeatedly shouted "This is the worst birthday ever!" because I didn't get some ext

You Just Got Knocked the Fajr out!

Image
It's the start of a new work week, so rather than dive into my usual PhilAsifical soliloquies, I thought we go a little bit light-hearted today. I just had to share this video that I got a kick out of (pun very much intended) from the world of Mixed Martial Arts.  Though regarded as a brutal sport by critics, MMA rakes in a ton of dough in ticket sales and PPV buyrates, in large due to the hype of fighters verbally jabbing one another before getting down to real fisticuffs. The masses are suckered in plopping down the cash when the fighters hold press conferences which are merely highly publicized smack-talking sessions. Despite this, fighters usually show a great deal of respect and sportsmanship when the final bell is rung. You usually see guys who seemingly hated eachother with such passion and fervor, shaking hands, hugging and sharing laughs mainly because win or lose, they got PAIIIIID son! Dollar dollar bill ya'll! However, a line never to be crossed in the world of

PhilAsify 101 Featured on MuslimMatters!

Image
Salams and Hello to my loyal readers which at the moment may only be myself and my wife (and that's usually only when I force her to read my blogs). Now PhilAsify 101 has only been around for only a few months and already it's been a rollercoaster ride in terms of my enthusiasm, creative and consistency in keeping up with the being a new blogger. I've had my fair share of ups and downs. Some weeks I was on a roll, churning out ideas and tapping away on the keyboard. Other days, laziness kicked in and I was spending more time hanging out on Yahoo's Frontpage than logging in hours on my posts. Ideas were hard to come by. Other times, life got in the way and I couldn't put the world on pause to go sit and put my thoughts into paragraphs. It's even more difficult and deflating when you don't think anyone's reading your stuff, so in turn no one is anticipating anything and thus there is no pressure to please the masses. But I don't want to make excuse

Modern Media Brain Busters and How Islam Solves Them

Image
Do you remember Brain busters (also known as brain teasers)? And no I'm not talking about the awesome finishing move former pro wrestler Bill Goldberg used to do. These were nauseating logic puzzles and riddles which you had to do in elementary school from time to time. For the geniuses and those with access to the answer key, it was typically a stress-free activity. However, for the normal human population, they were sheer torture designed to question your sanity. I'm talking about the brain busters which made you cringe and had the power to burst your blood vessels, doubt your intelligence and purpose in life to the point where you'd wither into a corner of the room, curl up in the fetal position and rock back and forth in agony. If you're still a little hazy on what I'm referring to, take a look at the example below. (Note: For those that do figure out the words or phrases suggested, good for you! But couldn't you have rather done without the mental anguish

Ramadan Reflections: Back to Life, Back to Reality

Image
Hey there gang. Your favorite PhilAsifer is back on Blog street after a month long sabbatical observing the month of Ramadan. So let me quickly get you up to speed on what's my month consisted of, aside from the heartburn I endured from being without food all day. I spent most of the month trying to get tight with the Qur'an like crossed fingers and soak up in that Iman (faith) boost that's customary at this time of year. This followed up with the inevitable Ramadan slump where the consistency that was prevalent in the first week just started falling apart. The Ramadan nutrition and workout regimen that my wife and I tried to follow just wasn't happening anymore so we went from working out at Suhoor time and after Iftar at the gym to NOT working out at all. This seemed to have a domino effect with the rest of productive goals during Ramadan. I had hoped to start and finish reading the Qur'an, both reciting it in Arabic and re

Ramadan To-Do List for Non-Muslims

Image
Note: This is an freelance article I wrote a couple years back on Suite101.com, since Ramadan is now upon us, I decided to dust off this article for your benefit : Ramadan is currently being observed by Muslims across the globe, but that doesn't mean someone not of the faith can't benefit from the festivities. To Muslims, the month of Ramadan has always been regarded as a time for self-evaluation and spiritual change. Followers of the faith reflect on what they have done in the past year, their attitude, conduct and habits and try to reform themselves for the year ahead. Looking at it from a different perspective, Ramadan is like a new year's resolution where a commitment is made and then diligently practiced in the forthcoming month in hopes that one's efforts carry over to the rest of the year. A multitude of Islamic websites and blogs, to-do articles are written to aid Muslims as they seek to make the most of the blessed month. However, the occasion a

Illuminating Prayer Rug:"Alhamdulilah for Technology" or "Eww Bidah!"?

Image
During my usual frolic on the interwebs, I stumbled upon an article which touched on an interesting project currently being showcased on Kickstarter, a funding platform for creative projects. Get this: A prayer mat that glows/lights up when it faces Mecca. The blog on Mashable.com entitled "Holy Tech! Prayer Mats Light Up When Facing Mecca" , raves about the artistic rug with its electro luminescent lights and built-in digital compass. Take a gander at the article by clicking the appropriate link. (Note: I do find it funny by the way that the creator, Soner Ozenc, initially was working on designing a flying--FLYING carpets, when this idea struck him. Cue the "Magic Carpet Ride" song.) I have mixed thoughts about the invention, but lean towards positive. In the age we live in , technological advances is not only making our lives easier and more convenient, but is making spirituality/religion and the act of getting closer to God hip and fun as well. For Muslims, we

A PhilAsifical Review of The Dictator

Image
Hello folks. A quickie blog here today. The wifey and I watched Sacha Baron Cohen's comedy The Dictator this past weekend. And no, I don't feel like a horrible Muslim for having went to see it. Since the initial trailer for The Dictator came out during Superbowl Weekend in January, I've heard the opinions of Muslim friends, collegues and such vehemently bashing the making of this movie and practically wanting to boycott seeing the movie as if the movie was called "Lowes: Lumber with A Vengence". Now I've been a huge fan of Sacha Baron Cohen's work. He's a brilliant comedian and touches on political and societal issues that some people feel uneasy about discussing without ruffling someone's feathers. I loved him in Borat--Bruno on the other hand, not so much--the fact of the matter is SBC pokes fun at the way people act and the preconceived notions and prejudices instilled in the human psyche to the point where it makes one question the absurdity o

Ramadan's A Comin!

Image
Excitement is in the air folks--at least for Muslims--as the holy month of Ramadan is fast approaching (no pun intended, hope you caught it).  For those who have no idea what Ramadan even is, it is a sacred month for Muslims because on this month 1400 plus years ago, the foundation of the Islamic faith was laid out when the Holy Qur'an was revealed to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). To commemorate the blessed event as believed to be ordained by God, Muslims all over the world give charity and pursue a state of tranquility through prayers and meditation and strive to increase their Islamic knowledge and better themselves. Most of all during this month, Muslims fast from morning til night for the full thirty days which means No food and no water during that time period. O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed upon you as it was prescribed on those before you so that you may learn self-restraint [2:183]   In this verse from the Qur'an above, God states that fasti

Mirrors for One Another

Image
One of the most commonly misused and misunderstood terms found in daily American street vernacular is the word "hater" .  Judging from the evidence gathered and research conducted, that's because people who use the term don't even know what they're talking about.  Hater is tossed around so excessively these days and is inappropriately uttered so often--regardless of the situation--that I feel it has set the English language back 50 years. Urban Dictionary has a whopping 136 different definitions of hater ranging from the ambiguous to the just plain stupid ("someone who hates on people"). For the sake of brevity I will post the most agreed upon meaning tabulated by most thumbs up votes. Hater [heyt·er] noun A person that simply cannot be happy for another person's success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person.  Also can mean a person that is pessimistic and negative and just points out the negative attribu

Ballin' On A Budget: BOB in Action

I found a funny clip from the vault of the interwebs recently that I just needed to share with ya'll in regards to my oft-praised credo, Ballin' on a Budget. For the past couple of parts I've stressed that BOB is a state of mind. And it's something that when implemented, is always on. You don't just throw caution to the wind when it comes to your hard-earned funds. Whether your out hanging with friends, taking your lunch break, thinking about what you want to do this weekend, it is imperative to stick to your guns and be wise with your money. And to make the most of any "fun money" you happen to gather, you have to milk it for all it's worth. You gotta bargain, keep your eyes peeled for deals. Yeah, I know you're not a 43 year old housewife but you make coupons your best friend. You EMBRACE frugality and show no shame. Sure, you're friends and even family may laugh and crack on you. But if they are doing that, then a BOB'er is doing the rig

Ballin' On A Budget: The Saving Game - 6 Saving Tips to Help You Swag Smart

Image
See? Pigs aren't completely useless and haram! A Little Backstory Before diving into the lesson of this article, I just want to clarify something in case it wasn't comprehended from the Ballin' On A Budget Introduction . I didn't coin the phrase, nor do I have it trademarked to sell T-shirts (good idea though), none of that. "Ballin on a budget" is not a novel concept. In fact, the phrase--if I can recall correctly--was primarily used in a derogatory manner to people on the streets. Yup. People used "Ballin on a Budget" in a joking manner to crack on someone that was trying to fit in and flaunt his goods but did not have the name brand, top-of-the-line crap. (Example: "Yo, look at Tony rockin' those New Balance shoes and that $4 bottle of champagne. He's ballin' on a budget." )   What I'm trying to do here is take the negative connotations attributed to the phrase in its original state and roll it up

Interfaith Ministry

Image
Note:The following is a fiction story I wrote a while back that has never before been published online. Seeing as PhilAsify 101 is my own personal hub for not only benefiting you all from reading my thoughtful content but also to motivate and put on display my love of creative storytelling and fiction writing. So sit back, relax and take 10 minutes out of your day to read this short piece. And if you're feeling extra generous, share it! :) The dreaded workweek has finally taken its final breath. For some this would signify movies, surfing, club hopping and plenty of other unadulterated fun— especially in the peak of the blistering summer heat. But for an elite group of individuals, the ministry would once again commence. The ritual has been a long celebrated tradition that originated during Rashad’s senior year of high school and has lasted all the way through the pursuit of a Bachelor’s Degree.   Rashad Ahmed had recently earned a degree in business administration but his pa

Top Four Sinfully Annoying Internet Blog Trends

Image
Being new to the blogosphere, I quickly realized that I have a lot to learn when it comes to posting my innermost thoughts together for the world to see. It's not easy crafting my commentaries into the perfect combination of keystrokes with just enough wit and useful information to engage a human being to click my article and scroll through. I also know that the best and most successful of writers are ones who read ten times as much as they write. So I take a good chunk of my time to read and observe what's out there, what's hot and what people latch on to when they want to get their fix on the world around them. What have I found? That people are making the very action of reading content annoying, laborious and complicated! I mean no wonder people are reading less and less! The tactics that businesses and popular blogs are doing these days almost compel a person to just go to someone's Twitter feed to find out what's going on rather than reading things at length f

Ooh, A good Khutbah!

Image
Mmm caramel! For those of you who read my "A Khutbah is like a box of chocolates" article I posted a while back, Alhamdulilah this past week I was treated to an ooey gooey khutbah with melt-in-your-mouth goodness! Brother Atif Mahmud, a Houston-area teacher and khateeb gave a phenomenal khutbah about the wonders of reading.     He spoke at length about how we are becoming a society that hates to read, a lot of it due to the technology of all those gadgets with a lower "i" in front of it. He threw out statistics he obtained that stated that last year, 90% (I think) of people neither read or picked up a book in the last year! Atif even alluded to the Ray Bradbury novel Farenheit 451 , which is a story set in the future where Americans outlaw and burn books by the thousands to eradicate learning and literacy, and said in a way things are becoming just like the story as people are reading less and less. In the end he presented to the congregation, notably the parents,

Whacked Out News: Man you gotta cop them new Adidas Slavery Shoes! They off, I mean ON the chain!

Image
Wow. I know the shoe industry makes slaves of us all with its outrageous prices and churning out hideous design after design but I didn't know they would be so explicit and direct about their intentions! Adidas was all set to release a shoe that, check it, had shackles attached to the dang thing! Ankle cuffs! But then they canceled its promotion and shipment to stores after receiving tons of negative feedback from its facebook followers. Heres how they were pimpin' these things on Facebook last week: "Tighten up your style with the JS Roundhouse Mids, dropping in August. Got a sneaker game so hot you lock your kicks to your ankles?"