Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The Ultimate Dua(Prayer) for First World Problems

A phrase which crept up out of nowhere on social media and has been the subject of many memes, jokes and gags is the often hashtagged "First World Problems" (#firstworldproblems). Anyone that has a Facebook page or a Twitter feed has probably seen and chuckled at different examples of "first world problems". In the last year or so, the phrase has circulated to the point of being accepted in common everyday lingo. defines the phrase as:

First World Problems

Problems from living in a wealthy, industrialized nation that third worlders would probably roll their eyes at.
In other words, "first world problems" are the magnified complaints of the spoiled--gripes from people that are made significant despite having easy daily access to basic life necessities of food, water, clothing and shelter. 

Monday, November 11, 2013

Fatherhood - The Most Important Job in a Man's Life

Any fool with a d*** can make a baby, but only a real man can raise his children.
--Furious Styles, Boyz in The Hood
The title of this article may seem cliché but I really don't think folks truly grasp the reality the phrase holds. At the time of this post, I have been a father just a little over three months and with every passing day I realize more and more just how crucial of a role fatherhood is.

In this short time, I have discovered--surprising to no one--that being a father is no joke. I mean, I knew going in things were not going to be a walk in the park. I anticipated my sleep time being cut short by fusses and grunts. I had prepared my mind to expect getting pissed and spit up on. I had already sucked it up and said my tearful goodbyes to one of my greatest loves--disposable income. I even let sink in the statement a lot of baby articles declare tongue-in-cheek, "your life is over."

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Trying Not To Be a Stranger (PhilAsify Update!)

Hey gang, taking a quick break from daddy-ing to update you folks. You guys deserve that at least, right? I'm still alive and well and have been spending my leisure time getting acquainted with little Abdul-Malik via being vomited on, wiping his butt and sticking a bottle in his mouth. 

Though I haven't been able to post anything new on PhilAsify, I still have been active (when the baby allows it). I recently became a contributor on an awesome blog that I have mentioned here before, Islamic Learning Materials. 

I submitted an article entitled "How To Be A Walking Qur'an" and it is a fascinating read if I do say so myself. Be sure to check it out on Islamic Learning Materials and share with your friends!

InshaAllah I will be getting back on posting with regularity on PhilAsify very soon so keep an I out. Well I hear some crying in the background so I better get back to work! Til next time dudes and dudettes!

Sunday, September 8, 2013

The Spectator Society

The Disgusting Side Effect of the Social Media/Viral Video Age

Have you heard the story of Kitty Genovese? She was a woman who was brutally stabbed to death nearby her New York apartment by a lunatic assailant. She was attacked by the man on three separate occasions during a time span of 35 minutes, all the while crying and screaming for help. Police reports declared that over 38 people heard or saw the attack—which occurred out in public—and no one intervened or even bothered to call police until AFTER the third attack when Kitty was already dead and the man fled the scene.

Do you know when this incident occurred? 1964. But judging from the subject matter, you would think it just happened the other day. In fact, if it did happen today, I can’t promise you that someone would’ve intervened and helped the poor woman out but I can wholeheartedly assure you without a doubt in my mind there would be live tweets, Facebook statuses and perhaps even footage of the murder captured on video and put up on YouTube or shock sites like World Star Hip Hop in order to go viral.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I Love It When They Call Me Big Poppa...

Hey everyone. You may have noticed a bit of a lull on PhilAsify 101 for over a month now. 

Well I actually have a perfectly valid reason this time around aside from being a lazy unproductive coach potato. Ahem...

Allow me to introduce to you Abdul-Malik Elijah Balouch, the newest youngin' of the Balouch clan. Abdul-Malik popped into this world on August 25th, 2013 during the last half of Ramadan, making the month even more of a blessing.

Weighing in at 7 pounds 4 oz, I immediately noticed how devilishly handsome the guy was. I'm talking Zoolander good looking...

Mom and Dad are doing great and adjusting to this new chapter of our lives. Long nights and hard labor for the wifey while I'm doing everything I can to make sure she doesn't go nuts. Naturally, I've been taking some time off to get to know this good looking cat, so that's why there hasn't been any new stuff published.

InshAllah I'll be getting back on the blogging grind really soon. In the meantime, in between-time, check out my blog archive, share my articles with friends, like my Facebook page and show some love on the comments and give a warm welcome to Abdul-Malik Elijah Balouch!


Friday, July 12, 2013

The Ultimate (Afterlife) Defense Attorneys

A few days into Ramadan, your boy is checking in with a quick thought.

At the midpoint of last night's Taraweeh prayer, which I like to describe as the "Taraweeh Halftime Show", the Imam spoke about the virtues of fasting. It was formulaic and typical (not that I'm complaining) but what stood out to me was him saying that your fasts will intercede for you on the day of judgment.

My first reaction to that was:


But once I gave it more thought, I realized that the Day of Judgment for everyone is going to go down like the most EPIC episode of Law and Order Now theres Qur'an verses which explicitly state that no person can intercede on behalf of someone else on the Day of Judgment. So essentially you're on your own. But when it comes to authentic and sound hadiths, you do have intercessors or defense attorneys on that Ultimate Court date. They just aren't your average joes like you or me.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Gettin' Your Soul Swole

Chances are before stumbling upon this blog, you may have recently seen some sort of pop up ad on some fat burning miracle pill or how you can get a six pack in 12 days. Or perhaps you saw a commercial on TV where Shaun T is telling you to get up off your fat bum and get ripped with the Insanity workout. Let's face it man, the world is obsessed with the way we look.

It's the reason fitness centers are chock full of sweaty folks trying to sculpt themselves into their fantasy bodies and the reason why Chuck Norris is still on TV, pimping out Total Gym equipment. Everybody wants to be ripped, everyone wants to be toned, everyone wants to be SWOLE.

Of course that's not totally a bad thing. It's good to be in peak physical condition. It's good for your overall health and wellness, it keeps you more active and gives you more energy, not to mention it does wonders for a person's self esteem when there's muscles bulging out of them every which way.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

I Need Ramadan, I Need it Bad

Can you believe it? The month of Shaban is here which means Ramadan is just around the corner. Now regardless of the fact that Ramadan is one of the most blessed months of the year and how it’s a chance for Muslims to cleanse ourselves of sins and get a spiritual boost, the emotions for its arrival are undoubtedly mixed.

Don’t get me wrong, there is a great number of the faithful who are excited for Ramadan and are looking forward to the abundance of good the month contains. However, I’m sure there are folks out there dreading this month. They dread the dropkick their schedules receive, whether it be work/school or their regular eating pattern. They groan at the thought of starving all day, cutting out all the fun shenanigans they occupy themselves with on the daily and spending the nights assembled in the congregation lines at the crowded masajid for Tarawih prayer. The thought of listening to the Imam drone on as they stand with aching feet and full stomachs for an extra long rakat of prayer is their own personal nightmare cause all they wanna do is pass out from a case of “the ‘Itis”.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Osombie? Seriously?

I love Netflix. Sure it doesn't have the latest movie releases (that's what Redbox is for) but I save a ton of money not having to pay a cable bill. I've had a blast "binge-viewing" shows that I've finally gotten around to like Lost and Breaking Bad--watching entire seasons in mere days (if not in one sitting). I squeal with glee from the occasional hidden gems which pop up when I do a random search (Coming to America, Beverley Hills Cop and other Eddie Murphy pre-disney bastardization laugh riots). Heck, part of the reason why I haven't blogged regularly in so long is because of this glorious productivity-killing streaming portal of dreams (kinda like the land of Zamunda). 

What I also love about Netflix is that it gives Indie filmmakers a chance to have their films and documentaries be seen by more eyes through having it available on the streaming service. Sure a lot of them look like unappealing stinkers, but at least the opportunity is there for them to showcase their work to a wider audience than their own parents, classmates and friends.

But the movie Osombie really makes me want to rethink my previous statement. When I saw this on my routine perusal of Netflix's newly added lineup and read the description, the bewilderment that came over me was indescribable.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Keepin' The Sunnah: Marry Young!

Hey gang. Back from another hiatus to bring you more of that PhilAsify you love so much. If you haven't already, please bookmark this page, share these blogs with your friends, like PhilAsify101 on Facebook, follow me on Twitter and do all the other social media hook ups so you can stay in the loop.


"O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty"
--Prophet Muhammad

Recently, I came across an excellent article on the popular news and opinion site entitled "Marry Young". What was more interesting than the headline was the sub heading that accompanied it: "I got married at 23. What are you all waiting for?" I was instantly hooked for the next 10 minutes.

Washington, DC writer Julia Shaw started the column by speaking about how marriage--especially in today's society--is held off and procrastinated to the max. Whether it be lack of maturity, social status ($$ dollar dollar bills ya'll), or the perception that marriage is a trap for youngsters, folks just don't want to marry in their blossoming years.

After giving statistics and research findings to support her case, she went on to tell her experience of marrying young while still finishing up law school with neither her or her hubby having a steady income. Preposterous, you say! It really isn't that far fetched if you're asking this PhilAsifer. I highlighted some of the main takeaways from the article below but you can read it in it's entirety here.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

25 Cool Life Hacks for the Average Muslim

Disclaimer: Please take note that this article is mainly for humorous purposes and should be taken lightly though there are some valid and true information in some instances. So, please do not get your halal panties in a bunch over these hacks.

You know what I've been loving lately? Life hacks. These have been sweeping the internet recently and I can't get enough of them. For those who don't know what life hacks are they have been defined as a "productivity trick, shortcut, skill, or novelty method to increase productivity and efficiency, in all walks of life; in other words, anything that solves an everyday problem in a clever or non-obvious way might be called a life hack".

There are plenty of life hacks lists posted on the internet which demonstrate a plethora of different neat tricks. For example, using a dustpan to fill a container that doesn't fit in a sink, take a picture of a friend holding something he wants to borrow so you won't forget he's borrowing it, using a can opener to open the pesky hard plastic packaging for electronics are just a few clever hacks notable on the interwebs.

But what about life hacks for the average Muslim? There's gotta be some things we can do to simplify our lives, right? I have gathered, both from experience and from valuable information passed down from wise brothers and sisters of the past, a list of 25 Muslim life hacks designed to make our lives just a little bit easier. Take a look!

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Elevator Murder Experiment Further Proves How Wussified and Jaded Society has Become. [VIDEO]

There's a famous saying of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) where he says,
“Whoever of you sees an evil must then change it with his hand. If he is not able to do so, then [he must change it ] with his tongue. And if he is not able to do so, then [he must change it] with his heart. And that is the weakest form of faith.”
“… must then change it with his hand.” aka put your big boy pants on and put a stop to it, tough guy!

Even though this is a Muslim proverb, ideally this should be a universal way of thinking. Unfortunately, that's easier said than done. I've heard and read about plenty of crimes or incidents occurring in public which were REAL and people stood by and did nothing and went about their business. 

This video below was a simulated experiment done "what would you do/candid camera" style to capture the reactions of the average joe. If you were about to board an elevator and when the doors opened, there was a murder being attempted, what would you do? Conclusion: The average joe is a big puss.

Some of these reactions are just unbelievable. Yes we have the typical girlie-girl scream and running away, that's a given for any high-stress situation. But did I just see a girl try to be a hero by repeatedly hitting the attempted murderer with a....paper bag

Another d-bag just stood there and started taking video of the killing with his camera phone. If you're first thought, when seeing a violent crime occur, is  "Whoa this is soooo going to go viral on YouTube!", then you have failed as a human being. I think only two guys in that video actually got up in there and actually pried the assailant off of the victim.

However, by far the most absurd thing of all for this video is the end. The whole point of this stunt was to promote "Dead Man Down", an upcoming action movie starring Wade Barrett Colin Ferrell. Wow.

I'm done.

Monday, February 25, 2013

Beards are Beautiful...Really! Science says so!

Oh,you don't say? You mean to tell me that the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) knew what he was talking about when he encouraged men to let their beards grow like nature intended?

I got a good kick out of this article from NewNowNext, an online magazine centered on pop culture, fashion and health. Apparently, sunnah beards do wonders for your skin and keep you looking haha, yes...younger, fresh-faced and handsome!

Another score for the Bearded boys!


Gentlemen, they’re not just for hipsters and the homeless any more. While both dead sexy and totally awesome, beards are also a boon to your overall health. Researchers discovered that men with beards and moustaches actually enjoy numerous benefits including, but not limited to, instant handsomeness.

A study from the University of Southern Queensland, published in the Radiation Protection Dosimetry journal, found that beards block 90 to 95 percent of UV rays, thereby slowing the aging process and reducing the risk of skin cancer. Got asthma? Pollens and dust simply get stuck in that lustrous facial hair. Additionally, all that hair retains moisture and protects against the wind, keeping you looking young and fresh-faced. What’s more, shaving is usually the cause of ingrown hairs and bacterial infections that lead to acne.

Have you tossed your razor in the trash yet?

To conduct the study, researchers left bearded mannequins, along with less attractive, follically-challenged ones, in the blistering sun of the Australian outback and then compared the amount of radiation absorbed by each.

But don’t forget to take care of those blessed follicles; beards can also spread infection if not properly cared for and make consumption of certain foods (e.g. cheeseburgers, corn on the cob, falafel sandwiches—anything with hummus actually, bagel ‘n’ schmear, syrupy pancakes) rather laborious. Fuzzy-faced men would be wise to take advantage of beard wash and beard oil, essential tools for looking and feeling your beardy best.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Tickets, Frustration and other Jummah Ruiners

Have you ever had one of those Jummah's where you head over to the mosque, hear an excellent khutbah that revives your spirit and gives you a much needed iman boost, followed by being immersed in a wonderfully recited salat, only to exit the premises and have the entire experience nearly pissed away by some frustrating and infuriating incident?

I've had one of those days recently.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Unmosqued Documentary shows the Unflattering side of the Muslim Community. [VIDEO]

All I have to say about this trailer is "It's ABOUT TIME!". Bringing the negative side of the mosques in America and their unwelcoming and anti-user friendly atmosphere is long overdue. I wholeheartedly support those who are making this interesting documentary and cannot wait to see it in it's entirety.

At best, this video should be screened at every mosque across the USA, especially to all of those with prominent positions in their community mosque should watch and take note and make the necessary changes because this issue is make or break when it comes to progress in the US and changing the perceptions of Islam in many peoples eyes, both Muslim and non-Muslim.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Faith In Humanity Restored: Awesome Passerby helps a (Muslim) Brotha out! [VIDEO]

Talk about inspirational and heartwarming! The award for "Random Acts of Kindess 2013" goes to: Dominic Giamo!

One of my favorite and--in my opinion--one of the best hidden camera shows on TV right now "What Would You Do?" aired this segment recently and showed that people can overlook stereotypes and preconceived notions and just be a good human being and neighbor.  You can watch the video below:

For those who aren't familiar with "What Would You Do?" it's a popular program that's part of the ABC News Primetime series. The premise of the show is essentially a social experiment where everyday situations are set up in front of unsuspecting citizens who's reactions are being recorded by hidden cameras. It's kind of like Ashton Kutcher's Punk'd but with less douchbaggery. 

Usually there is an injustice happening or something that you just don't see everyday staged by actors. Ideally, the unsuspecting passerby will step in and say or do something to help or point out said injustice. Not surprisingly, the majority of folk do nothing or ignore the situation. Here are just a few examples from the show:
  • A grocery bagger with noticeable Down syndrome is insulted and raged at by a shopper, who calls him a "retard" because of his condition.
  • A bratty child berates and scolds her Latino nanny in a department store and threatens to have her fired.
  • A comedian goes overboard on stage at a comedy show, picking on innocent people in the audience with rude, unfunny jokes, pointing out their flaws.
  • A perverted older man tries to take advantage of an underaged teenager, trying to convince her to accompany the girl to his house.
  • On a sidewalk, three teenagers beat and taunt a homeless man in front of passersby.
Various instances of bullying or rude behavior to people of different ethnicities. On the show there have scenarios set up involving actors playing Muslims and being treated rudely such as a Muslim woman wearing a hijab at a bakery and not being served because the owner doesn't serve "their kind", "terrorists". It's really interesting to see the reactions and whether people will stand up for others who are being wronged right in front of their eyes. The show is also known for it's notable good samaritans who show random acts of kindness.

In this video above, the segment started with a beautiful blond haired woman who had a flat tire. The scenario was to show how long it would take for her to receive assistance. To no one's surprise, she received a ton of help from male passer-bys. But when they changed the "damsel in distress" to a kufi-wearing Muslim guy, things were very different. That is, until youngster Dominic Giamo came around and showed off his awesome altruism.

I like that he even knew some of the Muslim lingo saying "Alhamdulilah! Let's do this!". Dominic later goes on a rant about how society and the media have an agenda towards Muslims and how it's BS that people blame Muslims on the ills of the world. This clip goes to show you that not everyone are ignorant Fox News watching pricks.

A big takeway of this is that this is actually what Islam is all about. Random acts of kindness. Muslims should thrive on being good samaritans like the man in the video. Like the popular Native Deen song "Small Deeds" ("Small deeds never overlook!") a Muslim should jump at these sort of opportunities because all it means are cool points with your Creator. I make dua that I become more like this guy, minus that tattoo (hehe) Big ups to you, Brother Dominic for helping a brotha out. Allah bless you.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

A Lazy Sunday...

Hey, it happens to the best of us. I'm going to be honest with you this week, I got nothin'. Plato and Socretes I'm sure had days where they couldn't pull any form of logic out of their rear ends and needed to be left the hell alone, so this PhilAsifer will follow suit. Go have a lazy Sunday, lay down to a good book,  Netflix binge it up (I haven't seen it but I'm sure the Chronicles of Narnia wouldnt be a total waste), whatever you like to do, just do it and check back next week and I'm sure I'll have a brand new dose of PhilAsify for your mind (or another embedded video :p).


Sunday, January 20, 2013

Middle East going Crazy For Mustaches, Sunnah Beards get no Love.

This ridonkulous newsbit I found on below doesn't have an emoticon or internet acronym out there that can capture even an iota of its absurdity. Apparently, men in the Middle East have such a soft spot in their hearts (and a hard spot in their crotches) for big bushy Mustaches. 

Click the link here or just read the article entitled "Mideast Men Go Under the Knife for Manly Mustaches" and take special note of what I've highlighted in bold:

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Thoughts From An Expectant PhilAsifather.

I really wish I could come up with a clever and innovative way to start this blog but sometimes you just have to stick to the cliches: I'M GOING TO BE A DADDY!!!

This isn't something I have just found out, as I've known for a little over a month. Sorry PhilAsify Fanatics, you guys are not the first to know. Aside from having to first have complete consent and approval from the wifey to break the news over the interwebs, I really just needed some time to digest the fact that the contents of my scrotum (through the will and infinite power of Allah) has produced a human being inside the womb of the love of my life.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Ballin' on a Budget: How to buy Cars like a True Playa

I'm sure you've seen it many a time.

Out there on the streets we have what I like to call  "pretend ballers" who are always putting on display the flyest, hottest new set of wheels. I guarantee that at least a couple times in life there was one of them crusin' to a stop at a red light beside you. 20 inch rims are spinning and shining bright, the bass from the sound system enough to make your ears vibrate to the beat of "Pop Champagne", a custom made license plate, those extravagant unnecessary neon lights and the whole shebang. If you happen to share eye contact with him and he sees the shanty you're driving in, almost 150% of the time he reacts like this: