Saturday, September 10, 2016

Overcoming Negative Inner Voices and Realizing Your Potential

For some reason this title  can't help but make me be reminded of Randy Orton's entrance theme:

But I digress. This is not really the video I wanted to share with you, the video below is. I came across this video on YouTube a couple of months ago titled "Overcoming Negative Inner Voices" and boy was it tremendous and really made me ponder life and just how your mind is the biggest thing holding you back from achieving the life you want to live and do the things in life you want to do to be fulfilled. Here I will post the video and then come back with my thoughts after the jump.


This video made me ponder various negative voices I have inside of me and what struck me in the video was that one's negative inner voices didn't just come out of nowhere, they were essentially implanted their by something someone said in the past that cut one holds onto and repeats in their head until the voice fades away from the person who said it and becomes one's own self talking trash to themselves.

When I applied this logic to some of the negative thoughts I have about myself over the years which contributed to issues with my self-esteem I could pretty much pinpoint the person or persons who said something to me that hurt my feelings and made me feel a certain way about myself. What's unfortunate is that often times it's not a bully or a stranger but someone you really look up to and even love that cuts you down. For me some of my worst inner voices taken from something someone said to me were people in my own family.

I would go even further to say that those negative comments and remarks don't even need to be directed at one self. Someone could indirectly say a mean judging remark about someone--whether you know them or not--and it can stick with you as well. For example you hear an uncle say: "Man, your cousin is a bum, he's never going to amount to anything"  or even overhearing a teacher having a conversation with another teacher about a student: "He's just the worst. I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up a janitor after he graduates". Despite it not being directed at you, it'll sting like it does. You might even think "Well damn, if they are saying that stuff about such-and-such, what are they saying about me when I'm not around?"

The hurtful things people have said to me were comments and jokes about my weight leading to self-esteem issues and me being very critical of myself. That's because a person being made fun of their weight, an assumption is also made that they are weak, undisciplined, unsanitary, not good looking or beautiful, lazy, don't have anything to contribute to the world. So it carries, no pun intended, heavily on a person's psyche. Some mean remarks about weight have been made towards others and I've felt the same blow as if it were directed at me. And that's why I've always been hard on myself for my weight struggles and have carried a lot of shame and guilt over the years.

Another mean remark made to me were from people who basically criticized my passion and desire to be a writer. "You wanna be a writer? Writers don't make any money" Writers are already highly critical of themselves by design but when you add someone elses biting remarks, it makes it all the more worse. Because of remarks like this, 

I would get an even more critical inner voice that would have no faith in my writing ability and I would put writing as a profession on the shelf. And I tell you, it killed me inside! I told myself that why bother? You're not going to make any money, so screw it. No one is going to pay you to write something for them. This isn't going to pay the bills. And it was all perpetuated by someone's harsh comments that crapped all over my dreams.

But this year this inner voice was killed when I began to pursue freelance writing. My lack of confidence over writing as a living made me avoid even the thought of freelance writing like the plague. "Someone paying me actual $$$ to write something for them? Yeah right" But I finally gave it a shot this year and I made money, I tried again and made even more money. So that voice in my head was total BS. I do have the skills to make money as a writer. People can find my writing valuable. Same with PhilAsify and the comments and remarks I've gotten in the past and present from people appreciating my posts, as few as they may be.

So it may sound cliche but don't let what people say crush the way you view yourself. You have value. You have something to offer the world. You have unique gifts, talent and qualities. Like the video said, something may be going on with them and they lashed out and you felt the brunt of their blow because of their personal issues. I'm sure most of them, if they knew the type of damage they were doing to a person, I would like to hope they would keep their mouth shut.

Overcoming negative inner voices can only be fixed by applying the opposite: creating positive voices. And that can happen by saying positive things about yourself TO YOURSELF. Repeating certain affirmations in your head like "I AM good enough" to combat those feelings that you're not good enough or "I have the tools to succeed" to combat those voices that say you won't amount to anything. If you maximize the positive, you can chase away that negative bull that has been fed to you by those people who damaged you in life.

You shouldn't hope others like a friend or family member or colleague say something good about you to kill those thoughts. Chances are you'll still feel negatively about yourself and nothing anyone else can say can fix the issues you feel inside and the strong negative voices. In cases like this, you gotta be your own best friend, your mental health and well-being depends on it.

So with that being said, that's it for this week. This is your friendly neighborhood PhilAsifer signing off. Take care of yourself (Really. I mean it).

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